


Just The Way You Are

by JodieReedus22



Category: The Walking Dead, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Reader-Insert, Self Confidence Issues, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-15 04:00:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17521616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JodieReedus22/pseuds/JodieReedus22
Summary: (Y/N) doesn't think she's perfect what's-so-ever, until a certain someone tells her she is.





	Just The Way You Are

For a while, you forgot about them.

It was all about surviving, you didn’t have time to self-deprecate.

But now things had settled down in the prison, things were starting to look good, you formed relationships with people – especially Daryl.

But now you had more time to think, and it was sending you crazy.

You had never been the thinnest person – in your eyes anyway – it was something that affected you, and not really affected your abilities – in the world before this anyway.

But now, you feel a burden to everyone.

Even though no one said, they must have thought it.

Whenever they were short-handed you would help out on runs, and it always seemed like their second priority after supplies was babysitting you.

You couldn’t run as fast, you weren’t a good hunter, in fact, you didn’t really know what your uses were – except maybe cook and do the laundry.

You wanted to be more than that, but you couldn’t, because you weren’t like Maggie or Carol or Lori, you weren’t as fit and thin as they were.

The only time you felt somewhat normal was with Daryl, you didn’t know why – maybe it was because every time you were with him you couldn’t think of anything else other than him.

He was like this weird blanket that covered you and protected you from your own thoughts, as soon as he was gone, so was the blanket, and your insecurities came flooding back.

Daryl made time for you, he was always checking in on you, he always had your back when you went out beyond the fences.

As you were sitting there, doing what you were best at – laundry – Carol made her way over to you, sitting down next to you.

“Hey sweetie, how’s it going?” Carol asked with a smile.

It seemed she always had a smile, you didn’t know how she did it.

“Well you know, laundry, hardly a dangerous occupation,” you said with resentment in your voice.

“Is everything okay?” Carol asked in a worried tone.

“Yh, it’s fine, it’s just…” you stopped what you were doing and turned to face Carol.

“… I want to do more than this,” you said picking up someone’s wet clothing and splashed it back down in the water, “I want to be useful, actually contribute to the group.”

“What you’re doing in contributing,” Carol said confused at your confession.

“No! No, not like _this_ , washing clothes, cooking, I know it’s all important, but I want to be useful out _there_ ,” you said turning your head in the direction of the fences.

 “Oh right,” Carol now understanding what you were saying. “Well, why don’t you ask someone to train you. Why don’t you ask Daryl, he can train you, he’s the best out there,” Carol suggested.

As soon as Carol mentioned training Daryl the only thing you could think of was the fact that you’re no good out there, you’d never forgive yourself if something happened to him just because you’re useless.

“No, you know what, that’s okay, I’m good, I’ll just stick at this for now, it’s what I’m good at,” you tried to play it off with a smile before Carol stood up and left.

_God, why did you have to be this way, why couldn’t you just be thin and fit, then you wouldn’t be having these issues and maybe you could’ve spent more time with Daryl._

A few days passed, and you did your jobs like you were supposed to, except you volunteered to take fence duty and take out some walkers from a safer place. It was the least you could do.

They’re easy to take out when they can’t get to you.

Deep in thought, stabbing walker after walker, reiterating the fact to yourself that you can only kill then through a fence, you were mindless of Daryl walking up to you.

“Hey,” Daryl called out.

Without a second thought, you raised your metal bar and pointed it towards Daryl.

“Hey, hey, it’s jus’ me,” Daryl placed his hands up in surrender.

As quick as you raised the metal bar you lowered it letting out your held breath.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, you just scared me is all,” you told Daryl as you turned back towards the fence and carried on killing walkers.

When Daryl didn’t say anything, you turned back to him once more.

“Is everythin’ okay?” you asked.

Daryl looked to the ground then back up to you, chewing the inside of his cheek.

“Carol said you might wan’ some trainin’, and I …” Daryl started.

“Well Carol shouldn’t have said anything, I’m good, I have my jobs here,” you told Daryl sternly.

“Look (Y/N), I really don’t mind, it would be good for ya to get some trainin’ in,” Daryl continued.

“Why? Because I’m useless out there? Because I can’t defend myself or anyone else here?” you started to get louder with every question.

Daryl stepped in closer to you in an attempt to calm you down.

“Hey! Hey! Not ‘cause of any of those thangs, hell even I miss a squirrel or two, I just wanted to help is all,” Daryl said calmly, his eyes looking right into yours.

“Look, I’m going out there tomorrow anyway to do a bit of huntin’, I’ll be at the gates around midday, if you wanna come with, I’d be more than happy to take you out there, okay?” Daryl asked.

You nodded your head and Daryl made his way back.

You tossed and turned all night thinking about what you were going to do tomorrow.

You wanted to learn, you wanted to spend more time with Daryl, but you couldn’t be a danger to him, you couldn’t let anything happen to him.

At last, you decided the only way you could – not just protect yourself but everyone else – is to learn.

So, you met Daryl at the gates.

He welcomed you with a small smile and you made your way through the woods.

Every step you took, every loud breath every twig breaking you got more and more terrified.

_Maybe if you weren’t so fat you could move more quietly._ You thought to yourself.

Concentrated on your own mind you bumped straight into Daryl, not realising he had stopped.

“Sorry,” you looked at him with a slight blush coming over your cheeks.

Daryl just nodded as he set down a bag that he had been carrying.

“Perfect spot,” Daryl just said out of nowhere.

“Perfect spot for what?” you asked.

“Trainin’” Daryl simply said.

You knew how to use a gun, you just weren’t any good at it, you hoped after today that would change.

An hour into training you were starting to get the hang of shooting guns, out of nowhere, attracted by the gunfire, a small herd of walkers came out into the clearing.

If Daryl was with anyone else – or even on his own - maybe he could have killed them all, but not with you, you knew that.

Without a word, you started running.

With Daryl coming up quickly beside you he kept with you, but when you started to slow down, consequently so did he.

With no words Daryl came up beside you and grabbed your arm, coaching you to keep going, and you did – only for a little while.

When you slowed down once more Daryl tried to get you to move again.

“Come on,” Daryl tried to encourage you.

“I can’t,” you said in between heavy breaths.

With the weight that you were, you knew you couldn’t run for long, you weren’t fit enough.

Falling down to your knees you suddenly saw Daryl jump into action, taking on all the walkers himself.

You were watching him take down walker after walker until one caught Daryl by surprise taking him to the floor.

Being as exhausted as you were you couldn’t do anything, you tried to reach him, but you couldn’t move fast enough.

Before you could even get there Daryl had sorted the situation out, saving himself from the walkers and coincidently saving yours.

Daryl got up, wiped himself down, and came up to you making sure you were alright.

Calling it a day, you both decided to make your way back to the prison.

The trip home was a silent one, you had no words to say to him, if anything had happened to him out there it was because you weren’t good enough.

You couldn’t run, you couldn’t fight – what use were you?

Once home, before Daryl could say two words to you, you went straight to the showers to wash yourself off.

You couldn’t face talking to Daryl, no after almost getting him killed.

That night you decided enough was enough, you were a hindrance to this group and to yourself.

Maybe if you had lost weight, maybe if you had gotten fitter you could actually be some use.

But if the end of the world couldn’t change you – nothing could.

You left a note to the whole group, and one to Daryl.

You couldn’t go to him, or anyone, you knew if you did that you would stay and sooner or later someone would die because of you.

Being stuck inside the fences for so long you got to know some blind spots, that’s what you used to make your getaway.

Your plan was; leave the notes, disappear and be gone before anyone knew you were gone.

A couple hours down the road, following wherever your feet were taking you, you heard footsteps approaching behind you.

Making a quick jump into the woods next to you, you crouched down, staying as quiet as possible.

Staring at the road, you were suddenly blinded by torchlight.

“(Y/N)?”

You knew that voice – it was Daryl.

Knowing you were safe you made your way out of the woods.

“What are you doing here?” you asked annoyed.

“Could ask you the same question.” Daryl stated. “What the hell are you doin’ (Y/N)? What is this all about?” Daryl asked, concern in his voice.

“I had to. I had to go, Daryl, I was a danger to everyone,” you admitted to Daryl.

“What the hell are you talkin’ about, you ain’t a risk to anyone, you never have been,” Daryl’s voice was laced with confusion.

“Oh yh? What about you?” you said.

“What about me?” Daryl asked.

“I almost got you killed, if I had been thin and fit like everyone else in that prison I might have been able to help you. You nearly died because of me! I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I was the reason you were killed, all because I’m fat!” you said without realising you had tears falling down your face.

“Is that what this is all about? You think you can’t look after this group, because you’re fat?” Daryl was more confused than ever.

“Look at me! I’m not good enough for this world, I’m not good enough for this group. I’m not good enough for you,” by the end of the sentence your voice becoming a whisper.

“Hey,” Daryl said, coming closer to you, gently placing his hands on your cheeks.

“I _am_ lookin’ at you. You wanna know what I see? I see a beautiful woman, a selfless woman, a brave woman who was going to run away because she thought it was the best thing for the group, but I am tellin’ you (Y/N), the best thing for this group – for me – is for you to stay. You’re not useless (Y/N) and you’re certainly not fat, I don’t wanna hear you say anythin’ like that ever again, you hear me?” Daryl told you sternly all the while tears streaming down your face.

“You’re perfect (Y/N), just the way you are, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

It was the first time in your life someone had told you that you were perfect and meant it, the first time someone thought you were enough just as you were.

Before you could process everything, Daryl had just said he gently placed his lips upon yours in a loving, caring manner, showing you he meant every word he said.

As he pulled away from the kiss your eyes were still closed, relishing the feeling, not just of the kiss, but his words.

When his voice broke you out of your trance.

“Let’s say we head back yh? Come on,” Daryl said with a small smile on his face.

But before he could move to start walking back you grabbed him pulling him in for another kiss, this time harder, more passionate.

“Thank you,” you whispered to him. “You have no idea what that meant to me to hear you say those things,” you told him.

“I meant every word,” Daryl stated as he took your hand in his and you both walked back to your home although it was no home without Daryl.


End file.
